We celebrated our first wedding anniversary by spending a relaxed day together, recounting what we're grateful for and calling friends and family members. We took time to rest, to walk downtown, to briefly pop into the public library and to watch the sunset over the ocean. We had Indian for lunch and Italian for dinner. We took time in the afternoon to sing and say prayers together at our new apartment in Santa Cruz. We thought we'd might reread our wedding cards and watch the complete wedding video, but we didn't get around to it. It was satisfying to simply talk to our parents and siblings and to reflect with each other about what we've learned.
Most of the insights that emerged revolve around what has helped us to work well as a team. Seraj has pointed out this year that I'm good at coming up with new ideas and he's ready and happy to engineer their becoming reality. I'm the dreamer and he's the "dream-come-truer", as he put it. Another pattern we've noticed is that we need different things when we're feeling stressed. Usually I just need Seraj to listen to my concerns without jumping straight away to how to "fix" things. Seraj, however, needs and invites my assistance in helping him find the words to describe what stresses him out. When he can describe it clearly, he already feels better about it somehow.
Among the things we're most grateful for are the successful efforts we've made (buttressed by divine assistance, for sure) to work through everything amicably, and not letting disagreements devolve into conflict or contention. Simply put, we made a promise to each other to never fight. And this promise alone has so far had amazing results. I am personally very grateful to my friend Mojan who taught me that this was a reasonable and possible expectation to set in a marriage.
The year has been eventful, indeed. We've both started new jobs. We've moved three times: from Northern Virginia to Southern Virginia to Central California. We were pilgrims to the Holy Land in April. We've traveled with family and/or to see family in France and England and Ohio. Through it all, our mainstay has been building friendships and community wherever we are, trying to bring about a better world by embodying our belief in the oneness of humankind.
Thank you to all of our loved ones for accompanying us on this adventure!
-- Love, Kendra